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Column: Cannibals coming to a theater near you


Argus Hamilton
6/13/2012 9:45:00 PM

 HOLLYWOOD - God bless America, and how's everybody?

The Tony Awards were followed by reports on Monday that "Gilligan's Island" will be made into a Broadway musical this year. It's no secret why. Cannibals are so hot in the news right now that producers are buying every TV property that ever had a cannibal as a guest star.

The White House was urged by the U.S. Senate Tuesday to reveal who leaked sensitive national security secrets to the New York Times. Yesterday we learned conclusive proof that Muammar Khadafy and Osama bin Laden are dead. They both registered to vote in Chicago.

L.A. Porn Tours advertised to visitors a one-night tour of the L.A. porn industry for $400. It includes a party bus and two porn star tour guides. If the porn tour is successful, they're going to add tours of Los Angeles high schools on Casual Sex Fridays.

The Oklahoma City Thunder hosted the Miami Heat in the NBA Finals Tuesday. They held a downtown parade in OKC where Charles Barkley rode a horse next to the mayor. The next day the horse had to be scratched from the Arkansas Derby due to back spasms.

The London Olympics released its opening ceremony plans on Monday. It will include a dazzling salute to British history. During the fireworks show the British Olympic team will colonize the Olympic Village and subjugate three-fourths of all the teams on the Earth.


 

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